Mouthing Off

I'm mad as.

I'm still wall-kicking, door-slamming, talking-to-myself, angry-mad. I shouldn't be this angry surely.

Yesterday afternoon as I kissed my children off for a weekend with their father I committed a cardinal offence...I forgot to pronounce the 'T" in later - as in 'See you later". Seems I have picked up a bit of an Aussie accent and, horror of horrors....it came out as a soft 'D"

Now, the father of my children has always had a bee in his bonnet about accents and their relation to social class. In the past I have been absolutely, categorically forbidden to socialise with anyone who might be deemed to have a "working class" accent. Oh yeah, and that includes some of my family. Hell, I've been hauled away mid-sentence in the street when one of these 'offensive' people have brightly smiled and asked how I am! The man has even visited both school and pre-school to instruct our children's Australian teachers on the importance of correct pronunciation of "The Queens English".

I don't have to put up with his shit any more. I left it behind. Bollocks to social classes and superior, judgemental attitudes. Let's judge people by their deeds and not their f***ing words.

The superior bastard still felt completely free after 18 months to smugly correct my pronunciation of the word 'later' by shouting it at me in the street and in the presence of our children (who, poor things, shot me a look of complete resignation and embarrassment)

And the other reason I'm still mad?

Well, apart from the fact that this little problem is obviously here to stay, as a lovely English acquaintance of mine pointed out rather furiously recently..

"But he's got a f**king working-class, northern accent, can't he hear himself?"

(Think UK TV Coronation Street)

Too complicated to explain, but does anyone know of an elocution teacher prepared to tutor a psychopathic narcissist in the 'correct' pronunciation of baath and doock?